the Delete, End and Page Down.

Who gets the real and who gets the fake? Who gets my word and who doesnt?
Who do I open up to and who do I put up a blockade to? When all I've been
getting is a funny reception from all corners? I would like to genuinely apologize
for all of my wrongs but should I? Have these people earned my word? Have they
given to me as I've given to them? Are the powers balanced? Have they looked for
the bad in me to pacify their guilty conscience? My answer to all that is "I don't know".
I'm confused, I'm not seeing every one and every thing for what they really are. I put the label
"Bad Guys" on people with good intentions and vice versus. But am I wrong for doing so?
If these good intention having people make me feel guilty and make me question my
authority... do they really have good intentions? Or are they just trying to teach
me a lesson for the better? Every day I wonder... Do they embrace my good or my bad?
Hmm sadly the things that i've put together looks like they just want the bad out of me.
For the past year, I've heard nothing but discouraging and negative things said by those
who I thought I could put in the "Good Guys" corner. Am I wrong for responding with such hostility? Am I wrong for responding to these actions upset and confused? I'm not sure... As for on my part... I do and say things that confuse the public or the "viewer"(So I'm Told). I'm viewed as the girl who is fooled! The people who I wanted to confide in, fooled me! They think i'm some activity to partake in. "Let's Tell Her Everything That Is Wrong With Her And Leave Her In Her Misery, Convince Her That We Are Trying To Help Her And Tell Her We Love Her But Keep It Amongst Ourselves That We Think She's A Horrible Person." What the hell? Then on top of that... When I care I'm pushed away and when I've decided to just give up I'm ridiculed. Can you really sit there and complain when I do the same back as a response/reaction? Where I'm not loved, respected, or understood I leave and start burning bridges... I used to ask myself why do I keep trying to rebuild bridges to places where I'm not wanted? Useless.... I serve no purpose there but I'm sure I will else where... Can you blame me for gettting to know others even those who I've once hated? Call me a rolling stone but those people have showed me that I can't
stay in one place and let things ferment things just get too serious... I apologize for not posting any hot posts... But a lot has been going on.

=/